Wakora iki umugore wawe (cyangwa inshuti yawe y’umukobwa) yaguciye inyuma?

Ubushize twabagejejeho uburyo wamenya ko umukobwa w’inshuti yawe, cyangwa se umugore wawe yaguciye inyuma, tubagezaho ibimenyetso byagufasha kubivumbura.

Uyu munsi turashaka kubagezaho icyo tubona ukwiriye gukora mu gihe wabonye ko uwo mukunzi wawe aguca inyuma. Ibi biranagufasha wowe utaracibwa inyuma na mugenzi wawe, kumenya uko wabyifatamo, ukamenya ibyo wakosora urengera umubano wanyu.

Icya mbere ugomba kwibaza ni iki: Ni iyihe mpamvu umukunzi wanjye yanciye inyuma ?

Mbere na mbere kandi birakwiye ko kugira ngo iki kibazo kibonerwe igisubizo, bikwiye ko umenya ko hari ibyiciro bibiri bigaragaza impamvu umukunzi wawe yaguciye inyuma.

Kugira rero ngo umenye icyiciro waba uherereyemo, urasabwa gusubiza ibi bibazo bikurikira. Kuko uko uri busubize ibi bibazo , birakugaragariza icyiciro uherereyemo, cyaba icyiciro cya mbere twise  A, cyaba icyakabiri twise, B

Icyiciro A: Ese ubona umukunzi wawe afite kurambirwa (kutishima, kutisanzura,kwigunga…) muri we?

Ese mu mibanire yanyu waba warageze aho uba kuri we kamara muri byose? Aho uboneka mu kabazo agize kose, aho umubonekera igihe cyose agukeneye?

Ese ntiwihutira kumufuhira uko ubonye hari umuvugishije, cyangwa uko asohakanye n’abakobwa bagenzi be?

Ese ntutinya ko yakuvaho akakwanga, nawe akaba abikubonaho.?

Muri make iby’umubano wanyu si we uwufiteho ubuyobozi? (controle)

Icyiciro cya kabiri:Ese mu mubano wanyu ntujya  umubabaza cyane?

Ese mu mibanire yanyu ntiwaba warageze aho utacyimwitaho, ukamwirengagiza, cyangwa nawe ukamuca inyuma?

Ntibyageze ku rwego aho ari we uhora agufuhira, akuzanaho amahane mu gihe usohokanye n’inshuti zawe.

Ntibyageze ku rugero agushinja ko utazi kumwitaho (kumuha care nkuko bivugwa ubu), utazi gutanga urukundo? Amagambo meza n’ibindi nk’ibyo (Romantisme)

Ese si wowe waba ufite ubuyobozi bwose  (ufite controle yose) ku mubano wanyu?

Nyuma y’ibi utekereze neza, uraza kumenya icyiciro uherereyemo.

Niba rero uri mu cyiciro cya mbere.

Niba aguca inyuma nuko yumva ubuzima bumurambiye. Ntakiryoshya ubuzima iyo muri kumwe.

Ushobora kuba nta kayaga umuha, cyangwa se umufuhira kenshi, ugahora umugendaho., birumvikana ko yakenera kwibohora iyo ngoyi.Ibyo bizamujyana mu kuguca inyuma, kimwe nka wa mwana w’ikigomeke ukora ibinyuranyije n’ibyo ababyeyi bamubujije, yerekana ubwigenge.

Ariko cyane cyane, niba aguca inyuma, nuko akeneye kongera kumva akuruwe no kwifuza imibonano mpuzabitsina, akongera kumva abifitiye amatsiko. Niba hagati yawe nawe atacyumva iryo shyushyu, iyo rukuruzi, azararikira gushakira ahandi. Muri icyo gihe rero ikosa ryaba ari wowe riturukaho, biragoye kubyemera ariko niko bimeze , niba aguca inyuma nuko hari impamvu.

Cyokora hari inkuru nziza ngufitiye: Niba akiri kumwe nawe, nuko akigukunda.

Icyo wakora rero ngo ibintu bisubire mu buryo:

Ongera umutere gukenera kuguhiga, kukwigarurira, kugushaka.ku buryo adakenera gushakisha ahandi. Ku bw’ibyo rero, mutere kugira ubwoba bwo kugutakaza. Uzabigeraho ute?

-Utamubonekera uko agukeneye kose

-Utigaragaza nkaho uri kamara kubyo akeneye byose.

-Nawe kina umukino nk’uwe, utangira kugira ibindi witaho mu buzima, werekana ko umwitaruye ho gato, utakimwitayeho cyane.

Ibyo bizatuma yongera gushaka kukwirukaho bitewe nuko abonye ko mu by’ukuri atarangije kukwifatira.

Tujye ku cyiciro cya kabiri, aricyo twise B

Niba uri mu cyiciro cya kabiri, B impamvu aguca inyuma si irari ribimutera ahubwo ni ugushaka kwihorera akwihimuraho.

Uramubabaza nawe akumva ko kubera ko umubabaza nawe akwiye kukugenzereza nk’uko.

“Kuva anca inyuma , nanjye ngomba kumuca inyuma”

Niba wumva rero utamurenganyiriza ko nawe yaguciye inyuma ukabona bigukwiriye, ntibyari bikwiye kukurakaza

Niba aruko rero bimeze, ukaba ushaka gutabara urukundo rwanyu, icyo ukwiye gukora ntibigoye kukimenya:

Niba uri muri iki cyiciro cya kabiri, B; ukaba ushaka gusubiza ibintu mu buryo, hagarika amanyanga yawe, cyangwa se ukore ku buryo amakosa yawe atababaza cyane umukunzi.

Niba nta cyiciro wiyumvamo muri ibi byombi.

Niba utiyumva muri kimwe muri ibi byiciro A na B, biragaragaza ko inshuti yawe itabereye cyangwa se itaragera ku gihe cyo kugira undi muntu babana.(etre en couple)

Ashobora kuba arimo kwinezeza gusa

Ashobora se kuba akiva mu rundi rukundo yagiranye n’undi, akaba ataritegura kwitanga byuzuye muwundi mubano.

Aruko rero bimeze, akaba nta kosa wowe ufite , inama twakugira nuko uwo mubano wawuhagarika, iyo nshuti ukayireka.

 

MITALI Adolphe.    

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