Ihungabana ryo mu bwana ni ibintu bibi umuntu aba yaragize mu bwana bwe, nko guhohoterwa ku mubiri, mu byiyumvo, cyangwa mu mibonano mpuzabitsina yahuye nabyo akiri umwana mu maboko y’umubyeyi cyangwa umurera.
Ibindi bibazo byo mu bwana bishobora kuba; hari gukurira mu buzima busanzwe buhora buhindagurika, kutitabwaho n’umubyeyi wawe cyangwa ukurera, gutotezwa ku ishuri cyangwa n’abagize umuryango, kubona ihohoterwa, kutabona urukundo ruhagije mu babyeyi cyangwa abakurera, ibibazo bifitanye isano n’ubukene n’ibindi.
Abantu benshi bibwira ko iryo hungabana umuntu aba yaragize, rigenda rirangira uko umuntu agenda akura; nyamara impuguke nka Bessel Van der Kolk, umuganga w’indwara zo mu mutwe w’Umunyamerika w’Umuhalande utuye i Boston, akaba n’umwanditsi, umushakashatsi n’umwarimu, si ko abibona.
Kuva mu myaka ya za 1970, ubushakashatsi bwe bwagiye bwibanda ku bibazo by’ihungabana, ndetse na Nadine Burke Harris, Umuganga w’abana w’Umunyamerika ufite ubwenegihugu bwa Canada, akaba umuntu wa mbere wasohoye ubushakashatsi buhuza ibintu bibi byo mu bwana n’imihangayiko ndetse n’ingaruka mbi bigira ku muntu mu gihe kizaza, basobanura ko ihungabana ritakemutse mu bwana rishobora gukomeza kugeza umuntu akuze, rikagira ingaruka ku bwenge, umubiri, imibanire n’ubuzima bw’igihe kirekire.
Ibintu bibabaza mu bwana bishobora gutera ingaruka mbi nyinshi z’igihe kirekire, zirimo:
1. Indwara zo mu mutwe: Ihungabana ridakemutse mu bwana ryongera ibyago byo kurwara indwara zo mu mutwe zirimo iziterwa n’ibiyobyabwenge, indwara y’icyoba n’indwara yo guhangayika nyuma yo guhungabana (PTSD) mu gihe cy’ubukure.
Ubushakashatsi butandukanye bwerekana ko ihungabana ritakemutse mu bwana, rikunze gutera umuntu kudahagarara neza mu byiyumvo (mental instability) cyangwa mu kwiheba imbere y’ikibazo icyo ari icyo cyose, aho umuntu ashobora kugerageza guhangana n’ibyo bibazo akoresheje ibiyobyabwenge cyangwa inzoga.
2. Ibibazo byo kugenzura amarangamutima ye bwite (Emotional regulation): Ihungabana ryo mu bwana rishobora gutuma umuntu atagenzura amarangamutima ye, bigatera uburakari cyangwa ingorane zo gushinga umubano mwiza n’abandi. Hari ubwo birinda umubano w’urukundo (romantic relationship), cyangwa bagahora mu mubano w’amakimbirane. Byongeye kandi, bagorwa no gushyiraho imbibi mu mibanire yabo n’abandi; icyo twakwita kutemerera undi muntu kukuvogera uko yishakiye, ibyo bigatuma bagwa mu mutego w’abantu babafatirana (toxic people).
4. Indwara zidakira: Ihungabana ryo mu bwana rishobora gutera ibibazo by’ubuzima nk’indwara z’umutima, umubyibuho ukabije n’ububabare budakira. Ihungabana ryo mu bwana ryagaragaye ko rifitanye isano n’ububyimbirwe (inflammation). Ubushakashatsi bwerekana ko uko kubyimbirwa guterwa n’imihangayiko (anxiety) ihoraho, bigatera kwangirika mu mubiri uko igihe kigenda gihita ndetse bigatera indwara zidakira.
5. Ingorane zo kwizerana (trust): Abantu bakuru bahuye n’ihungabana mu bwana bakunda kugorwa no kwizera abandi, bigatera ingorane zo kugirana umubano wa hafi n’umubyeyi cyangwa umurera mu bwana, ndetse bagahora bumva bari mu bwigunge.
Ibi bibaho cyane cyane iyo umurera yirengagije ibyo mwana akeneye by’ibanze mu buryo bw’amarangamutima ku mwana ukiri muto. Uwo mwana rero akura mu buryo bwo guhangana n’ihungabana. Iyo yabaye mukuru biramugora n’ubundi kwisanzura mu bandi no kwizera umuntu uwo ari we wese. Ibi biterwa no kuba yarabuze urukundo n’ubufasha mu gihe yari umwana.
6. Ibibazo byo kwiha agaciro (low self-esteemnaam): Ihungabana ryo mu bwana rishobora no gutuma umuntu yiha agaciro gake mu gihe cy’ubukure, bigatuma yumva afite isoni kandi nta gaciro afite no mu gihe aba yarageze no ku bikomeye. Rigira ingaruka ku iterambere ry’amarangamutima, akumva ko igitekerezo cye nta gaciro gifite mu bandi bantu.
Ni ngombwa gushaka ubufasha mu gukemura ibibazo bikomoka ku ngaruka z’ihungabana ryo mu bwana.
Irene Nyambo
