Ni kenshi iyo umuvandimwe ,inshuti cyangwa umuturanyi wawe ari mu bihe by’umubabaro ukomeye, abantu benshi babura umwifato ndetse n’amagambo yamubwira akayabura. Muri ibi bihe abanyarwanda, turi kwibuka ku nshuro ya 29, Jenoside yakorewe Abatutsi,Ubumwe.com bwabakoreye icyegeranyo cy’uko wakwifatanya n’uri kwibuka uwe/ abe yabuze.
Iki cyegeranyo twakoze twifashishije urubuka rwitwa « Psyichologie.com » bugaragaza ko Ikintu cya mbere umuntu akora ari : Ugufasha uwo muntu kurenga umubabaro we amutega amatwi ukamwereka ko ari kugerageza kwumva uko yiyumva. Ariko nabwo ugomba kumenya cyane ko yongeye gusubira kwiyumva nk’aho aribwo akibura uwe cyangwa abe. Akaba agomba kunyura mu ntambwe 5 arizo : « Kugira umubabaro nk’aho aribwo akibyumva,Kubihakana( avuga ko bitashoboka),Gufatwa n’uburakari,Kumera nk’utakaje ubwenge ,iyanyuma ni ukubyakira »
N’ubwo uru rubuga abashakashatsi bagaragaje ko nta bikorwa bifatwa nk’ihame umuntu agomba gukurikiza mugihe ari kwifatanya n’uri mu cyunamo, yibuka abo yabuze, ariko bagaragaza ko ikintu gikomeye ari ukumwereka ko ubyumva ko koko umwifato afite warukwiriye,ndetse ukanamwereka ko agaciro abantu be bari bamufitiye ndetse n’ibyo yibuka kuri nyakwigendera byose bifite ishingiro.
Ubwo rero bisaba kwitwararika amarangamutima ari kugaragaza ndetse wowe ukamwereka ko wifatanyije nawe, aho kugira ngo bibe ari wowe wamwerekera umwifato wumva yakagombye kuba agaragaza. Abahanga mu bumenyamuntu bagaragaza ko ubwo aribwo buryo bwiza bwo kumufasha kwiyumva ko muri kumwe, mbese ukagenda inyuma ye, aho gushaka kumugenda imbere ngo we agukurikire. Mbese wishaka kumwereka ko iyo biba wowe, hari ubundi buryo bwiza warikwitwara, bitandukanye n’ubwo we ari kubyitwaramo. Ahubwo gerageza kumwereka ko iyo nawe biba wowe wari kuba umeze nka we.
Élisabeth Kübler-Ross, umuganga w’umu Suwisi(suisse) niwe wambere wagaragaje izi ntambwe 5 umuntu wabuze uwe/abe agaragaza. Gukomereka,Guhakana,Umujinya,Gutakaza ubwenge,Kwakira. Ubwo byari mu myaka yaza 70,Yagaragaje ko ari ngombwa cyane guherekeza umuntu uri mu bihe byo kubura uwe/abe kandi ukamenya neza ko izi ntambwe zose zitagomba gukurikirana zitya, kandi ntagihe runaka ugomba kubarira uyu muntu cyo kumara kuri izi ntambwe.
Ntibyagutungura uri kumwe n’umuntu, umuntu we amaze igihe kirekire yarapfuye, wajya kwumva ati : « Ntabwo bishoboka ko kanaka yansiga…. » Ukibaza ko ari ako kanya bibaye. Ariko usabwa kumwubahira ayo marangamutima ye kuko niko aba yiyumva kandi ubwo aba ageze ku intambwe yo « Guhakana ». Icyo usabwa si ukumwereka ko ayo marangamutima adahuye n’igihe yaburiye umuntu we, ahubwo umwereka ko muri kumwe kandi ugerageza kubyumva.
Ntabwo ugomba kumubaza ngo : « Na n’ubu koko uracyarira ? Cyangwa ngo umubwire ngo gerageza ugabanye ku rusaku uri kwiyamira cyane »…. Oya, iyo umuntu yibuka, amera neza neza nk’usubiye muri bya bihe akibura abe. Umwanditsi w’Umunyamerika Linda Pastan yagize ati « Agahinda ni urwego rwizengurukaho » Bisobanura ko bigenda bigaruka bitewe n’impamvu runaka.
Dore hano indi nkuru bifitanye isano:
Mukazayire Youyou
