Kutumvikana kw’umukazana na nyirabukwe si ishema ntanubwo ari ihame.

Ni kenshi wumva abantu benshi baba abakazana cyangwa ba nyirabukwe bafitanye amakimbirane mbese badakundana batanahuza na rimwe. Iyo ubashije kubaza abantu cyangwa ba nyir’ubwite bakagira ngo ” si uko abakazana na banyirabukwe se babaye?”

Akenshi babivuga nkaho ari ishema cyangwa ihame kutumvikana kwabo cyangwa ukagira ngo ni umuco kutumvikana. Ibi bimaze kugirwa umuco aho usanga hari n’umukobwa uvuga ati “ Njye sinashakwa n’umusore ufite nyina” wamubaza impamvu, ati “ Reka nta matiku ya mabukwe  nkeneye. Mu mvugo ikunzwe gukoreshwa ati “ Nta stress zaba nyirabukwe nkeneye.”

Mu byukuri ibi mbyumva kenshi kandi bikambabaza ubundi nyokobukwe ugomba kumubonamo umubyeyi wawe mbere y’ikindi kintu icyo aricyo cyose, ntabwo ari umuntu muhanganye ahubwo ni umuntu uba usanze ngo agushyigikire.

Mu byukuri njye mbona iyi myumvire ari mibi  ndetse idakwiriye gushyigikirwa. Igiteye noneho n’agahinda usanga uyu mukobwa uvuga ko adakeneye gushakwa n’umusore ufite nyina akenshi iyo umubajije impamvu yabyo, akubwira ngo ni uko nawe ari impfubyi , adafite nyina. Ibi byaje kuntera ubwoba cyane aho kugira ngo ahubwo abigire ihame ko azashakwa n’umusore ufite nyina kugira ngo nibura nawe abone umubyeyi ahubwo ugasanga yahise yanga nyirabukwe ataranamubona!

Rwose si ihame ko umukazana na nyirabukwe batumvikana kuberako hari ingero nyinshi z’abakazana naba nyirabukwe babana kandi bagakundana neza cyane ahubwo ugasanga umukazana yiyumvamo nyirabukwe cyane no kurusha na nyina umubyara.

Ni byiza kubona umukazana na nyirabukwe babanye neza ubona bizihiwe bisa neza cyane . Ubundi mabukwe w’umuntu yakagombye kumubera umubyeyi akamenya icyo akeneye akamenya ibyishimo bye akanamenya umubabaro we mbese nkuko biri mu nshingano z’umubyeyi wiyubashye.

Noneho n’umukazana akamenya ko nyirabukwe ari umubyeyi we ndetse uri mu zabukuru akamenya kumwitaho akamenya icyo akeneye akamugenera icyo ashoboye mu kinyabupfura n’icyubahiro umwana agomba umubyeyi we.

Sibyiza ko twimakaza uyu muco mubi ahubwo turebe uko twasakaza umuco mwiza wo kubana neza.

Umukazana ashobora rwose kukubera umwana kurusha n’abawe wibyariye cyangwa akakubera aho abana bawe batari. Kandi na nyokobukwe ashobora kukubera rwose umubyeyi kurusha n’umubyeyi wakwibyariye cyangwa akakubera umubyeyi aho umubyeyi wawe atari.

Kutumvikana kwanyu mwembi ntabwo ari ishema nagato, ahubwo ni ubugwari, mwakagombye kujya mwicara mukigaya, aho kugira ngo mujye mujya mubantu mwigamba. Ngo ni ko abakazana na banyirabukwe babaye. Muzashakishe hari abandi babana kandi neza cyane.

Mukazayire Youyou