Mugihe habayeho gutandukana kubashakanye, wemerewe gushaka undi mugabo cyangwa umugore? Igisubizo hamwe na Pastor Basebya Nicodème

Muri iyi minsi hakomeza kumvikana ukuzamuka kw’imibare y’ingo z’abashakanye ariko bidateye kabiri ukumva bafitanye amakimbirane akomeye amwe aganisha ku gutandukana andi akaganisha k’urupfu rw’umwe mubashakanye.  Abantu bakomeza kwibaza impamvu z’iyi mibanire mibi zikabayobera cyane cyane ko iyi mibanire mibi itaboneka gusa mubatizera ahubwo no mububakanye muburyo bwa gikristo.

Kubwo kuzamauka kw’imibare y’abashakanye batandukana, kandi bakaba abenshi baba barasezeranye kubana muburyo bwa gikristo, hakunze kwibazwa niba abatandukanye baba bafite uburenganzira bwo kuba bashaka bundi bushya. Abantu baribaza bati mbese uwatandukanye n’uwo bubakanye muburyo bwa gikristo yakwishakira undi mugabo cyangwa umugore?

Iki ni ikibazo gikomeye kandi kugisubiza bikwiye kwitonderwa. Mugusubiza  hakwiye kuzirikanwa amasezerano aba bantu bagiranye bashyingiranwa, ibyo bizera cyangwa imyemerere yabo, umuco n’izindi ndangagaciro zigenga imibereho yabo n’itorero cyangwa idini ryabo. Ntabwo twakwihutira guhinyura uko umuntu ubwe yifatiye umwanzuro w’ubuzima bwe cyangwa ngo tumucire urubanza ariko kandi kubizera Yesu Kristo, ibyo dukora byose bikwiye kugira urufatiro mu ijambo ry’Imana riri Bibiliya, tutanibagiwe icyo amahame y’ukwemera n’imigirire y’itorero cyangwa idini twayobotse biteganya.

Mbese umuntu ukiri muto akaba agize impamvu zikomeye zituma atandukana n’uwo bashanye (bombi bakaba bakiriho) yaba akoze icyaha igihe yashaka undi wo kubana nawe nk’umugabo cyangwa umugore? Ibyo ngiye kuvuga si ihame ridakuka kuri buri muntu wese, nk’uko nabivuze mbere yo gufata icyemezo cy’icyo gukora hari ibyo umuntu kugiti cye akwiye kwishingikirizaho mbere yo gufata umwanzuro. Ndavuga rero uko ntekereza nifashishije Bibiliya  ariyo Byanditswe Byera bifite umumaro wo kutwigisha, kutwemeza ibyaha, kudutunganya no kuduhanira gukiranuka, kugira ngo abantu b’Imana tube dushyitse (soma 2 Timoteyo 3:16-17).

Intumwa Pawulo mu rwandiko rwa mbere yandikiye Abakorinto yatanze inama kukibazo cy’abatandukanye agira ati “Abamaze kurongorana ndabategeka, nyamara sijye ahubwo ni Umwami wacu, umugore ye kwahukana n’umugabo we ariko niba yahukanye abe igishubaziko cyangwa yiyunge n’umugabo we, kandi umugabo ye gusenda umugore we” (1 Abakorinto 7:10-11).

Aya magambo abwirwa abubakanye muburyo bwa gikristo. Icyifuzo kubakristo bubakanye nuko batatandukana na gato. Birashoboka ko kubabana hatabura ibyo batumvikanaho, ariko uko byamera kose dukurikije uko Ijambo ry’Imana ribyifuza, umuti w’amakimbirane si ugutandukana ahubwo abizera bagomba gukoresha ibishoboka byose bakagera ubwo habaho kwiyunga. Dukurikije inama zahawe abizera b’i Korinto (ari nazo natwe twakurikiza) bigeze aho habaho gutandukana kubantu bari bubakanye rukristo, buri wese ntiyemerewe gushaka undi ahubwo akomeza gusenga no gushaka inzira zose zatuma habaho kuzongera kwiyunga n’uwo bari barashakanye.

Mu Isezerano rya Kera mu mategeko ya Mose, byari byemewe ko umugore asendwa hanyuma akaba yakwishakira undi mugabo ariko Yesu muri gahunda ye yo gusohoza amategeko yose (kuyatunganya) avuga ati “Kandi byaravuzwe ngo uzasenda umugore we amuhe urwandiko rwo kumusenda, ariko jyeweho ndababwira yuko umuntu wese usenda umugore we atamuhora gusambana, aba amuteye gusambana, kandi ucyura uwasenzwe azaba asambanye” (Matayo 5:32).

Umwami Yesu yavuguruye itegeko ryo gutandukana (divorce) avuga ko bidakwiye ko umuntu atandukana n’uwo bubakanye cyakora igihe binaniranye ko babana cyane cyane bitewe n’icyaha cyo gucana inyuma, uwatandukanye ntiyemerewe kongera gushaka yewe n’ushatse uwatandukanye aba akoze icyaha cyo gusambana. Ndongera kwibutsa ko izi nama ziri guhabwa abantu bubakanye bombi ari abakristo. Niyo mpamvu abagiye kubaka urugo badakwiye guhubuka. Urugo ni ikintu gikomeye kandi mugushinga urugo nta mahirwe ya kabiri abamo (second chance).  Mbere yo kwemeranya gushinga urugo hakwiye kubaho kumenyana bihagije, kwigishwa urugo rwa gikristo uko rugomba kuba rumeze no gusobanurirwa neza ibikubiye muri yandahiro abageni bemeranya imbere y’Imana, abakozi bayo (abasezeranya nk’abapadiri n’abapasiteri) n’imbere y’imbaga y’abizera n’imiryango.

Iyo abakristo basezerana basezerana kubana akaramata, si ukugerageza ngo barebe ikizavamo (try and see). Akaramata bisobanuye ubuzima bwabo bwose keretse urupfu rwonyine nirwo rukwiye kubatandukanya.  Kubakristo bakimbiranye, kuba amategeko ya leta yakwemera kubatandukanya ni byiza kubwo kwirinda izindi ngaruka zikunda kuboneka mu miryango ifite ubwumvikane buke.

Ariko rero nubwo leta yo yabatandukanya dukwiye kuzirikana icyo twarahiriye turi imbere y’Imana. M’Ubutumwa bwiza bwanditswe na Matayo (19:6) handitswe ngo “…bituma batakiri babiri ahubwo babaye umubiri umwe. Nuko icyo Imana yateranirije hamwe umuntu ntakagitandukanye.” Muby’ukuri ijambo ry’Imana ntabwo rishima ko abashakanye batandukana, rirashishikariza abashanye kubana nk’umuntu umwe, bubahana, bihanganirana, bafashanya, bakorerana m’urukundo.

Ku batari Abakristo, gutandukana birashoboka kandi bo kuko ntandahiro bagiriye imbere y’Imana iba ibaboshye, bemererwa gutandukana. Intumwa Pawulo yavuze kugihe umwe mubashakanye atizera. Avuga ko niba umwe mubashakanye atizera ariko akumva yagumana n’uw’izeye  (umukristo) icyo gihe bagumana. Imbuto n’ingeso nziza z’uwizeye zishobora kuzageza ubwo zihindura utizera nawe akizera Yesu.

Ariko igihe bidakunze ko bakomeza kubana mu mahoro bemerewe gutana. Pawulo abivuga muri aya magambo “Mwene Data niba afite umugore utizera kandi uwo mugore agakunda kuguma nawe ye kumusenda. Kandi umugore ufite umugabo utizera nawe agakunda kugumana nawe ye kwahukana n’uwo mugabo we. …Icyakora wa wundi utizera niba ashaka gutana atane. Mwene Data w’umugabo cyangwa w’umugore ntaba agihambiriwe iyo bimeze bityo, kukw’Imana yaduhamagariye amahoro” (1 Abakorinto 7:12-13, 15).

Aha ijambo ry’Imana riravuga ryeruye ko igihe umugabo cyangwa umugore yubakanye n’umuntu utizera akaba we yizeye (akijijwe), wawundi utizera agashaka gutandukana, yemerewe kubikora bityo mwene Data cyangwa mushiki wacu ukijijwe aba abohotse bityo akaba yashaka undi mugabo cyangwa undi mugore. Ngira ngo birasobanutse, si uwizera wirukana utizera ahubwo ni mugihe utizera we yumva ataguma kubana n’uwizeye bityo akahukana (agatandukana), uwizeye icyo gihe aba abohowe kuri uwo utizera. Ibi biravugwa kubashakanye ariko bidaciye munzira z’idini cyangwa itorero. Amasezerano yabo ntiyakorewe imbere y’ubuyobozi bw’Imana n’itorero. Kubakoze amasezerano imbere y’Imana n’idini cyangwa itorero, bagomba kubahiriza indahiro barahiye kugera ku gupfa cyangwa Yesu agarutse kujyana itorero rye.

Amasezerano akubiye mu ndahiro y’abashyingiranwa agira abasezerana imbohe kuwo basezerana, bityo utandukanye asabwa kutongera gushaka kugeza kugupfa ahubwo ikingenzi ni uguharanira icyatuma hongera kubaho umubano binyuze mukubabarina, kwihanganirana no guca bugufi. Umwanzuro wicyakorwa ufatwa hakurikijwe ibyo wizera, inyigisho wahawe n’itorero ryawe n’amahame arigenga, ariko cyane cyane Ijambo ry’Imana n’Umwuka Wera ukorera mu mitima y’abizera Kristo. Buri wese agahitamo ikimubereye kiza ni cyamuhesha amahoro kurutaho.

Pasteri Basebya Nicodème ni umuntu ki?

Basebya Nicodème ni umushumba (umupasitori) wo mu Itorero ry’Ivugabutumwa ry’Inshuti mu Rwanda (Eglise Evangélique des Amis au Rwanda). Ni umugabo wubatse, we n’umuryango we bakorera umurimo w’Imana mu ntara y’amajyaruguru akarere ka Musanze aho akora umurimo wo kwigisha no gutoza abayobozi b’amatorero nk’umwamu mu ishuri rya Bibiliya ryitwa Rwanda Friends Theological College.

Hamwe n’umurimo wo kwigisha, ni umubwirizabutumwa ubimenyereye kandi ufite ubunararibonye kuko yatangiye kuvuga ubutumwa mu mwaka w’1992. Afite impamyabushobozi y’icyiciro cya 2 cya kaminuza mubuyobozi bwa gikristo (Christian Leadership), iy’icyiciro cya 3 cya Kaminuza mukubungabunga iterambere ry’umuryango mugari (Community Care) kandi ari gusoza icyiciro cya 3 cya kaminuza mubyerekeye kujyana ubutumwa aho butaragera (Missiology).

Ukeneye icyo amubaza cyangwa asobanuza, cyangwa ufite ikindi yifuza ko yazasesenguraho ubutaha,ijambo ry’Imana, iby’Umwuka n’iby’ubuyobozi bw’itorero yamwandikira kuri email ye: basebyanicodeme@gmail.com cyangwa agahamagara kuri telephone igendanwa +250788488139

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