“Nzishima ari uko nshatse nkagira abana.”
“Nzishima ari uko nubatse inzu yanjye bwite.”
“Nzishima ari uko mbonye kariya kazi.”
“Nzishima ari uko . . .”
Ese wigeze uvuga utyo? None se igihe wageraga ku ntego yawe cyangwa ukabona icyo wifuzaga, ibyishimo byawe byararambye, cyangwa byatangiye kuyoyoka? Ni iby’ukuri ko iyo umuntu ageze ku ntego ye cyangwa akabona icyo yifuza, bishobora gutuma agira ibyishimo. Ariko kandi, ibyo byishimo bishobora kutaramba. Ibyishimo birambye ntibishingira gusa ku byo twagezeho cyangwa ibyo dutunze, ahubwo bishingira ku bintu bitandukanye, nk’uko kugira amagara mazima bishingira ku bintu bitandukanye.
Buri wese muri twe arihariye. Ikigushimisha gishobora kuba atari cyo gishimisha undi. Uretse n’ibyo, uko tugenda dukura ni ko tugenda duhinduka. Ariko byaragaragaye ko hari ibintu bitera ibyishimo abantu benshi bahurizaho (nk’uko tubikesha ikinyamakuru Réveillez vous). Muri ibyo bintu harimo:
- KUNYURWA
Umuntu w’umunyabwenge wamaze igihe yiga imyitwarire y’abantu, yaranditse ati ‘amafaranga ni uburinzi.’ Icyakora yaje no kuvuga ati “ukunda ifeza ntahaga ifeza, n’ukunda ubutunzi ntahaga inyungu. Ibyo na byo ni ubusa” (Umubwiriza 5:10; 7:12). Ni iki yashakaga kuvuga? Nubwo dukenera amafaranga kugira ngo tubeho, twagombye kwirinda umururumba kuko utajya ushira. N’ubundi kandi, Umwami Salomo wa Isirayeli ya kera, ari na we wanditse ayo magambo, yaragenzuye kugira ngo arebe niba koko kugira ubutunzi no kubaho mu iraha bitanga ibyishimo nyakuri. Hanyuma yaranditse ati “sinigeze nima amaso yanjye ibyo yasabaga byose. Sinigeze nima umutima wanjye ibinezeza by’ubwoko bwose.”—Umubwiriza 1:13; 2:10.
Salomo amaze kugwiza ubutunzi, yubatse amazu y’ibitabashwa, atera ubusitani bwiza cyane, yubaka za pisine kandi agira abagaragu batagira ingano. Icyo yashakaga cyose yarakibonaga. Ni uwuhe mwanzuro yaje kugeraho? Nubwo ibyo byamuhesheje ibyishimo mu rugero runaka, ibyo byishimo ntibyarambye. Yaravuze ati ‘nabonye ko byose ari ubusa, mbona ko kuri iyi si nta gifite umumaro.’ Tekereza nawe. Yageze n’ubwo yanga ubuzima (Umubwiriza 2:11, 17, 18)! Koko rero, Salomo yamenye ko kubaho wirundurumurira mu gushakisha ibintu byose umutima wawe wifuza, amaherezo bisiga umanjiriwe kandi ukumva utanyuzwe.
Ese ubushakashatsi bwo muri iki gihe bugaragaza ko ibyo uwo munyabwenge yavuze ari ukuri? Hari ikinyamakuru cyavuze kiti “iyo umuntu amaze kubona ibintu by’ibanze akenera, kugira amafaranga y’inyongera nta cyo byongera ku byishimo yari asanganywe” (Journal of Happiness Studies). Koko rero, ubushakashatsi bwagaragaje ko uko abantu bagenda barushaho kwigwizaho ubutunzi ariko bakirengagiza Imana n’amahame mbwirizamuco, ari na ko ibyishimo byabo bigenda biyoyoka.
2. IRINDE ISHYARI
Ishyari ni “umubabaro umuntu agira cyangwa umutima mubi umuntu aterwa no kubona undi hari icyo amurusha.” Kimwe n’ikimungu kiri mu mubiri, umuntu ashobora kuganzwa n’ishyari bigatuma ibyishimo bye biyoyoka. None se bigenda bite ngo ishyari rishinge imizi mu mutima w’umuntu? Twabwirwa n’iki ko turifite, kandi se twarirwanya dute?
Hari igitabo cyavuze ko ubusanzwe abantu bagirira ishyari abo bafite icyo bahuriyeho, wenda bahuje imyaka, ibyababayeho cyangwa se urwego rw’imibereho (Encyclopedia of Social Psychology). Umucuruzi ntiyagirira ishyari umukinnyi wa filimi w’icyamamare, ariko ashobora kugirira ishyari mugenzi we w’umucuruzi ugenda atera imbere.
Urugero: aho kugira ngo abategetsi bo mu bwami bwa kera bw’Abaperesi bagirire ishyari umwami, barigiriye undi mutegetsi mugenzi wabo witwaga Daniyeli wari ufite ubuhanga bwihariye. Ikigaragaza ko abo bagabo bari bararakariye Daniyeli cyane, ni uko bacuze umugambi wo kumwica. Icyakora uwo mugambi mubisha warabapfubanye (Daniyeli 6:1-24). Cya gitabo cyaravuze kiti “kuzirikana ko ishyari rituma umuntu yifuza kugirira abandi nabi, ni iby’ingenzi. Kuva kera abantu bagiye bagirana ibibazo, akenshi babaga babitewe n’ishyari.”
Wabwirwa n’iki ko ufitiye abandi ishyari? Ibaze uti “ese iyo mugenzi wanjye turi mu kigero kimwe agize icyo ageraho biranshimisha cyangwa birambabaza? Ese iyo umuvandimwe wanjye, umunyeshuri w’umuhanga twigana cyangwa umukozi mugenzi wanjye atsinzwe cyangwa agakora ikosa runaka, birambabaza cyangwa biranshimisha?” Niba ku kibazo cya mbere washubije uvuga ko ‘bikubabaza,’ naho ku cya kabiri ukavuga ko ‘bigushimisha,’ waba watangiye kugira ishyari (Intangiriro 26:12-14). Cya gitabo twigeze kuvuga cyaravuze kiti “ishyari rishobora kwangiza ubushobozi umuntu agira bwo kwishimira ibyiza byinshi abona mu buzima, kandi rigatuma atanyurwa na byo. Biragoye ko umuntu ufite ishyari nk’iryo yagira ibyishimo.”—Encyclopedia of Social Psychology.
Kugira ngo turwanye ishyari, tugomba kwitoza kwicisha bugufi no kwiyoroshya by’ukuri, kuko bidufasha guha abandi agaciro no kwishimira ibyo bashoboye n’imico yabo myiza. Bibiliya igira iti “ntimukagire icyo mukora mubitewe n’ubushyamirane cyangwa kwishyira imbere, ahubwo mujye mwiyoroshya mutekereze ko abandi babaruta” (Abafilipi 2:3). Iyo twumviye iyo nama nziza, tugaragariza abandi urukundo ruzira uburyarya, uwo akaba ari undi muco utuma umuntu agira ibyishimo.
- ITOZE GUKUNDA ABANTU
Hari igitabo cyagize kiti “kubana neza n’abandi bihesha abantu ibyishimo kurusha akazi keza, amafaranga menshi, ubuzima bwiza n’aho batuye” (Social Psychology). Mu yandi magambo, kugira ngo abantu bagire ibyishimo nyakuri, bagomba gukunda kandi bagakundwa. Hari umwanditsi wa Bibiliya wagize ati ‘ntafite urukundo, nta cyo naba ndi cyo.’—1 Abakorinto 13:2.
Buri gihe tuba dushobora kugaragaza urukundo. Urugero, se wa Vanessa yari yarabaswe n’inzoga kandi atukana. Vanessa amaze kugira imyaka 14 yavuye mu rugo, ajya kuba mu wundi muryango. Yaje no kuba mu kigo cyakira abantu batagira aho baba, aho yinginze Imana ngo imufashe. Nyuma yaho, wenda icyo kikaba cyari igisubizo cy’amasengesho ye, yaje kwakirwa n’umuryango wakurikizaga ihame rya Bibiliya rigira riti “urukundo rurihangana kandi rukagira neza” (1 Abakorinto 13:4). Kuba Vanessa yarabaga muri uwo muryango no kuba yarigaga Bibiliya, byamugabanyirije agahinda yari afite kandi bituma agira amanota meza. Yaravuze ati “ku ishuri amanota yanjye yariyongereye ava ku rwego rwa D na F agera kuri A na B.”
Nubwo Vanessa agifite ibikomere byo ku mutima, afite urugo rwiza kandi ni umubyeyi w’abana babiri b’abakobwa.
- ITOZE KWIHANGANA
Ni nde muri twe udahura n’ibibazo? Bibiliya ivuga ko hariho “igihe cyo kurira n’igihe cyo kuboroga” (Umubwiriza 3:4). Kwihangana bidufasha kunyura mu bihe nk’ibyo, kandi tukabisohokamo neza. Reka dufate urugero rwa Carol na Mildred.
Carol arwaye indwara igenda imunga uruti rw’umugongo, diyabete, indwara ituma abura umwuka mu gihe asinziriye n’indwara y’amaso yatumye ijisho rye ry’ibumoso rihuma. Nyamara yaravuze ati “nirinda guheranwa n’agahinda. Birumvikana ko mfata igihe cyo kubabazwa n’imimerere ndimo. Ariko iyo ibyo birangiye ndeka kwitekerezaho, ahubwo ngashimira Imana ko hari ibyo ngishoboye gukora, cyane cyane ibyo nkorera abandi.”
Mildred na we arwaye indwara zitandukanye, harimo rubagimpande, kanseri y’ibere na diyabete. Ariko kimwe na Carol yirinda guhora atekereza ku burwayi bwe. Yaravuze ati “nitoje gukunda abantu no kubahumuriza mu gihe barwaye, kandi ibyo nanjye biramfasha. Naje kubona ko guhumuriza abandi bituma ntakomeza kwitekerezaho.”
Nubwo abo bagore bombi baba bifuza kuvurwa neza, ntibibanda ku buzima bwabo, ahubwo bihatira kudaheranwa n’agahinda no gukoresha igihe cyabo neza. Ibyo bituma bumva bafite ibyishimo badashobora kwamburwa n’umuntu uwo ari we wese. Nanone barakundwa cyane kuko babera abandi urugero rwiza, bigatuma na bo bashobora guhangana n’ibigeragezo bitandukanye.
- NTUKAREMEREZE AMAKOSA YAWE
Iyo abantu bazi guhangana n’ibibazo bakoze amakosa, ntibumva bizinutswe, ngo bumve ko ‘bibarangiriyeho’ cyangwa ko ‘nta cyo bamaze.’ Bibiliya igira iti “umutima unezerewe urakiza, ariko umutima wihebye wumisha amagufwa” (Imigani 17:22). Hari igitabo cyavuze ko niba wifuza kugira ubushobozi bwo guhangana n’ibibazo, “ugomba kumenya ko nta wudakora amakosa.” Icyo gitabo cyakomeje kigira kiti “icyakora umuntu ni we wihitiramo uko yitwara mu gihe ayakoze.”—The Power of Resilience.
Titi-Leopold
