Kwigirira icyizere ni ingenzi mu buzima bwacu bwa buri munsi, kuko ari urufunguzo mu iterambere rya muntu, kwigirira icyizere ni ukuba wiyumvamo ko ushoboye yewe n’ibyo utazi wumva ko wabyiga kandi ukabishobora, dushobora kubyita kwiyemera ariko kwiza. Iyo rero umuntu atifitiye icyizere bimugiraho ingaruka nyinshi zitari nziza mu mirimo ye ya buri munsi, haba mu nshuti, ku kazi, n’ahandi.
Reka rero turebere hamwe ibintu bimwe dukora tutazi ko turimo kwiyangiza mu bijyanye no kwigirira icyizere. Kutigirira icyizere bishobora kuba biterwa n’uburwayi bwo mu mutwe, uko warezwe n’ibindi.
1. Kutiyitaho ku mubiri cyangwa uko ugaragara (kwirekura)
Urabizi ko kwigirira isuku no kwita ku buzima bwawe ari ngombwa kugira ngo ugaragare neza. Ikintu kibi rero kibaho iyo wirekuye ntiwiyiteho, uba urimo kwisuzuguza. Ikindi iyo wumva udashimishijwe n’uko ugaragara, kwigirira icyizere kwawe kurajya hasi, cyane cyane mu mbaga y’abantu (social situation). Ushobora kumva Atari ibintu by’agaciro ariko buriya uko wibona ni ko n’abandi bakubona.
2. Gutinda ku nenge nto ufite ku mubiri
Iyo wirebye mu kirahure, ese wihutira guhita ubona utuntu duto (inenge) ku mubiri wawe? Usanga ubitindaho bikakwinjira mu bwonko ukumva ko bikubangamiye cyane; ukwiye kureka uwo muco kuko ari uwo kukwangiza. N’iyo waba utekereza ko ari ukuri atari ukwigiza nkana, ibi bituma wibona nabi ukumva bikubabaje kandi wenda nta n’icyo wabikoraho. Bituma wigirira isoni.
Ibi bintu bituma udaha agaciro ibyiza bikurimo cyangwa ubwiza bwawe, ugashyira imbaraga mu guhora witotombera inenge nto ufite. Shyira imbaraga mu kwita ku byiza bikurimo.
Urugero: ufite umubiri munini (urabyibushye), wireba mu kirahure ukabona ukuntu utari mwiza, ukwiye kuba maneke nka kanaka; iyo uretse ibyo bintu bikakwinjira mu bwonko, urwara indwara yo kutigirira icyizere, ugahorana ipfunwe ko utari mwiza ugahora uhangayikishijwe n’ibintu bitari ukuri, kuko ubunini cyangwa kuba mutomuto si cyo kiranga ubwiza.
3. Guhora uvuga intege nke zawe
Guhora wivugaho ibintu bibi, abantu barabyumva ndetse bakumva barabimbiwe, ahubwo bakaba bashobora kwibwira ko ibyo uvuga ari bicye, kuko mu bisanzwe buri muntu wese agerageza guhisha intege nke ze. Urugero nko mu nshuti zawe ugahora ubabwira ko ugira intege nke mu kutita ku wundi muntu, bihita bigaragara ko uri umuntu wikunda cyane.
4. Gushimagiza abandi (over complimenting others)
Iyo ukabya kuvuga abandi neza, byumvikana ko uba uvuga ko bakurenze cyane wowe uri hasi yabo mu bijyanye n’iyo ngingo urimo kuvugaho; bitewe nuko buri wese aba ashaka kuvugwa neza muri kamere muntu.
Ntitwirengagije ko ari umuco mwiza kubwira umuntu ko ari mwiza, aberewe ari umuhanga n’ibindi; ariko iyo ukabije abo ubibwira babisomamo ibindi, ugasanga nabo batangiye kukubwira amagambo agucisha bugufi bakwereka ko bakurenze, gahoro gahoro ukaza gusanga wizera ibyo bakuvugaho ukiburira icyizere. Menya ko buri muntu agira intege nke n’ibyo ashoboye (weaknesses and strength), buri muntu yigiramo ubushobozi bwihariye butuma atandukana n’undi wese.
5. Kwizera ibibi wivugaho
Muri kamere muntu, usanga byoroshye ko twizera ibibi twibwira cyangwa twitekerezaho kurusha ibyiza biturimo. Ibitekerezo nk’ibi usanga rero byangiza kwigirira icyizere kwawe, ukibona mu ndorerwamo y’umuntu udashoboye, bikaba imbogamizi yo kubyaza umusaruro impano n’ubushobozi Imana yaguhaye.
Irene Nyambo
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